For A Moment
by xcloudx
Summary: Sam struggles with conflicting emotions about the loss of his brother, Ruby, and the unseen pressure that has him to his knees when Castiel is around. Set season 5


Summary: Lucifer is walking the earth, seals are breaking, but for Sam and Dean this isn't on their 'top five' on the to-do list. Dean just wants to help his fathers friend with a ghost, it seems just what he needs to let loose his lingering anger. While Sam struggles with conflicting emotions about the loss of his brother, Ruby, and the unseen pressure that has him to his knees when Castiel is around. And Bobby? Oh he's just along for the ride.

_"He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man." Dr. Johnson_

XXXXXxxxxx

_Hot sweaty flesh rubbed against his; her soft moans turning sharp when he would move just right into her made it difficult to think of her as a Demon and more like something human or innocent._

He couldn't recall when he started to think of it as more than just sex with Ruby… maybe it was the first time she had him drink. After all, it was hard to cope after doing such a dehumanizing and revolting act like drinking demon blood but the power that came with it hooked him right away, unfortunately it also hooked him to Ruby unintentionally.

She made him feel more human than ever after his rant about 'being morally wrong', she stripped him down and pushed him against the wall making him feel loved and strong. Not so alone and a little less depressed. Jessica never even came to mind, not like all the other times when he made love with the other girls. He didn't know at the time if that was a good thing or a bad thing, now he knows that it was much worse than he ever thought.

_Her hands roamed his arms then moved to his back scratching him all the while biting and thrusting._

No this isn't what he wants.

Something in Sam's mind knows that something is wrong, he isn't with Ruby right now. Where is he?

'Sam.'

Dean?

"Sam, wake up!"

Sam squeezes his eyes and shifts on the motel bed, good Lord, it was only a dream. Ruby is dead, the apocalypse is over and everything is hunky dory. Well, if he decides to ignore the tension that's constantly between Dean and him. Oh and if Lucifer doesn't cause chaos.

"I'm up. I'm up." Sam sits up with his eyes still closed hearing Dean move about the room probably packing their things. He smells coffee and so he opens his eyes.

"Come on Sammy, we need to get a move on here. Bobby is expecting us at six p.m it's already quarter after four and we are going to hit traffic I can tell you that right now." Dean says then takes a sip of coffee again before picking up a bag and going outside to the Impala.

Oh God. Not traffic, that meant an extra thirty minutes of loud music that does absolutely nothing except make it even more blindingly obvious that they aren't really on talking terms.

Dean comes back in, "Sam we have to go, like: Right now!"

Sam gets up running a hand through his hair, "Need a shower."

"Too late, you can take one at Bobby's."

"Fine." He gets up, still in his clothes from yesterday and looks around for anything that's his before leaving the motel room and getting inside the Impala.

He looks over at his brother. Dean doesn't look back but Sam notices how he clenches the steering wheel tighter and his eyes narrow before glancing over at Sam but it's too late he isn't looking at Dean anymore.

Whoever put Dean and Sam on the plane took away his addiction, or so Dean and everyone thought. For a while he thought he was cured too but once a junkie always a junkie, as they always say. The dreams about the excursions he had with Ruby while on his Demon blood high turned his gut, for a while he was having a good time living a Bonnie and Clyde life with Ruby. He can remember the ache and need for Ruby and the power she gave him.

Mornings like these are hard. He's just human, no extra power or anything. It makes Sam sick knowing it wouldn't take all that much to make him drink Demon blood again. He isn't craving it but his mind knows that he is missing something important.

"So… what's with the time schedule?" Sam asks.

"We have a hunt, some guys want us to help."

Sam opens his mouth to argue but closes it and looks out the window. It's painful to know how much Dean distrusts him now, how much he doesn't want Sam with him. Probably regrets picking him up from Stanford. He should have died with Jess. It would have been perfect, back then it wouldn't have, but knowing the stuff he does now.

He shakes his head and sighs then decides to close his eyes to get some sleep.

_'Sam, it's only a little. I promise that as soon as you start drinking it the taste won't even matter and you'll feel so much better!'_

_Ruby's hands run through his hair._

_'It'll be okay Sam.'_

_A glint of silver then a drip of red._

_'Your brother would have understood, you're in pain. Just a drink, think of it as a Bloody Mary.'_

_Her smile, her legs wrapping around his waist._

_'I'd want to hunt you!'_

_Sam recoils from Ruby._

_'I'd want to hunt you!'_

_No! No! Sam pulls away from Ruby who goes to stand near Lilith. How did she get here? He looks over at Dean but only finds his father glaring at him._

Sam jerks awake, they are at Bobby's, he doesn't even bother looking over at Dean. He wonders if Dean regrets not listening to their father. Everything would have worked out if he did and now they have Lucifer running like a wild goat all over the damn place.

Dean stops the car and gets out slamming the car door shut.

Sam avoids Bobby and Dean like the plague as soon as he's inside. Going to the bathroom then going right into the usual guestroom Dean and him share. He hears them whispering for a while and he starts to doze off, tired of worrying and feeling guilty.

_Chuck walks over to him. "I didn't even write it into the books, I was afraid it would make you look unsympathetic."_

_Unsympathetic. The word echoes throughout his brain like a bad cough._

_"I mean come on Sam, sucking blood? You gotta know that's wrong." _

_Chuck disappears and suddenly Ruby is right behind him rubbing his shoulders ._

_'It's just a drink Sammy.'_

_Sam shakes his head._

_'Don't call me Sammy, and it's human blood too right? I mean it's coming out of a human that you're possessing.'_

_Ruby presses her lips against his. Harder. Harder, Ruby, GOD!_

He jerks awake again, tears running down his face. How could she just betray him like that, he would have done anything for her in the end. The whole time he was acting as if he didn't give a damn about her, and at first he did but that was before she began to be a necessity. She was smart, her lips soft, she always cared about his feelings. He growls, it was a lie you stupid fuck, she used you while you thought smugly that you were using her.

Dean walks in just at that moment and freezes as he takes in Sam's posture and tear-stained face. He looks ready to say something but decides not too, there just isn't anything to say.

Xxxx

The next day he stands just outside of the kitchen hearing Bobby and Dean yell in whispers at each other.

"He can't go on this hunt, Dean. He's not okay and he's depressed as anything." A slam of cabinet. "He just started the apocalypse and you want to go hunting ghosts, boy whatsa matter with you?"

A long silence and feet shuffling back and forth.

"I'm tired, Bobby. I can't even look at." _Him._ Dean stops and there is the sound of a bottle against table.

"Son, I know this is hard. It's hard on me too but no one is hurting more than your brother."

"Well Bobby he deserves it." A sharp reply.

"You don't mean that, Dean."

"Yeah I do, he let himself follow a Demon. Of all things!" Dean laughs. "We were raised to hunt these things and as soon as I die he thinks all the rules fly out the window! Goddamnit Bobby what do you want me to feel? I go to hell for him and I come back to see him screwing around with… These Demons tore me a new one when I was in hell."

Deans voice drops and goes so quiet Sam can barely hear him.

"Hell was… I still have nightmares. The things they did, what I ended up doing. Why couldn't Sam settle down, go back to college. Why…"

Footsteps. And a soft pat.

"I'm sorry Dean."

"He's not alright, I don't know who he is anymore. And now Lucifer… I'm lost and I don't know what to do. This is… I'm only one person and even _Cas_ wants me to try and save him. Save him from _who_, Bobby? Himself? Me? Who?"

Sam goes back to the room and lies down on the bed doing the one thing he has in his power to actually do. He silently cries.

Xxxx

Sam gets out of the Impala and soon Dean is in front of him grabbing his shirt.

"I swear Sam, don't go pulling any of the stuff you always seem to pull, just… For once act like a hunter, don't do anything stupid and just follow my lead. Please, I'm begging you. I just want a normal hunt. Can you do that?"

The pleading tone alone is enough to make Sam look down from Dean's pained eyes and give a nod.

"Yeah."

He doesn't even bother saying sorry anymore. Sorry doesn't cut it and he's starting to think it never did.

They are at a local bar in Williamstown, about an hour out from Bobby's, it's dingy, dark, and suites hunters perfectly though Sam prefers the Roadhouse in comparison. The hunters are huddled in the corner when Dean spots them. He shakes a couple of their hands some of them introducing themselves to Dean and Sam. Sam knew none of them but that's to be expected since his four year 'vacation' from the hunt.

"So you're Johns youngest, eh? Stanford?"

Sam nods but says nothing else. They all take a seat and order beers getting right into the detail about the hunt. He doesn't know why Dean wants to hunt a ghost with other hunters, the guys look pretty capable.

"We almos had this son-o-bish," One of the hunters, a thin guy with sharp blue eyes and squirrelly brown hair on top, probably about thirty said. "Then we los Harold and well… we hadda get oudda thar before we all hid tha ringer. Ya know?"

His name is apparently, Woody. Sam tries his best not to roll his eyes at the guys weird speech impediment, for some reason his 't's are lost in most of his words but it's done on purpose.

Dean nods his head, "So where is this ghost. What's the info you have on this thing? Are you sure it's a ghost?"

"Boy, it better be a ghost!" The bigger man who knew their father bellows out with a hardy laugh and a swig of whiskey.

"Or God rest my soul on your father's grave that I be wrong. All my life hunting, this is as close to a ghost as we is gonna get! Violent thing, poor Harold never saw it coming, hell we all were shocked cold!"

The other two men are quiet almost like they are analyzing both Dean and him. They both look to be around forty, maybe fifty, with gaunt looks and similar features. They must be related, with that chilling thought, chilling because he hopes he never looks that haggard and still hunting. He decides it's time for another beer.

Sam takes a long swig of his drink and gets up to get another one.

"Boy gets us some more beer while you're up." One of the quiet guys pipes up.

He nods dejectedly, a long time ago he would have told the guy to shove it where the sun doesn't shine. Now it's like he owes everyone everything he can. With the seals breaking, and Lucifer, it's almost a guarantee the world is going to end.

When Sam brings back another round he notices the tension at the table. Woody is drawing something on a napkin giving it to Dean who is glaring at the quiet guys while the burly man is chewing on some peanuts looking between the two.

Sam sets down a few more beers sliding one to 'the guy'.

"Why thank you, you're a good little dog aint ya?" The guy laughs taking the beer.

Woody chuckles, "Now Frank thas nod very nice."

Sam flushes with embarrassment and doesn't retort just wishing that they would hurry up and get all the details for the hunt out of the way, maybe he can wait in the car. He looks over at Dean and finds him furious.

Dean stands up grabbing Sam up with him and storms out of the bar fuming in anger. The burly man shouts something while following the two of them to the Impala.

"You wanted our help, but I'm not gonna work with assholes who can't handle acouple beers, Roy." He growls to the big guy who walked out after them.

"Dean… Frank is just like that, he don't mean nothing by it. Surely Sam here can stand up for himself, right boy?"

Sam stares at the ground and nods not really caring about anything at the moment.

Roy looks between Dean and Sam. "You boys look old. Look'et, I'll call Bobby, we can find somebody else, there are plenty of hunters dyin for a fight so…"

Dean unlocks Sam's side of the Impala then tells him to get in.

Sam does it without question and Dean shuts the door.

Dean mumbles something to Roy and they talk for about ten minutes, nothing Sam can hear, before Dean gets in the Impala and they take off for a motel room.

"Are we going to do the hunt?"

Dean remains quiet, the radio is off and for some reason Sam thinks of how ever since Dean has been back from hell he hasn't heard all that much of Dean's classic favorites. He almost wishes Jefferson Starship would just blast away their problems.

The radio suddenly turns on causing Sam to jump, he looks over to Dean who is frowning and turns off the radio muttering about a tune-up. It's just a coincidence…

"Dean?"

"We are not. I am."

And that was that, but Sam can tell Dean is just waiting for him to say something, to fight him so he can let out all his frustration and anger. For a moment he feels he should give Dean the chance but he can't, he's too afraid to lose all he has left. He can't lose Dean. Not again.

They get to the motel and Dean rents two rooms.

"Just for tonight," Dean says and looks ready to say more but holds back and walks into his own room.

Sam looks at the motel key and at his bags. He feels needy, he almost ALMOST wishes Ruby would come back and say it was all a dream. He wishes Dean would come out and tell him, 'never mind, come inside let's have a couple beers and laugh!' but those things won't happen. And probably won't ever happen again, he walks into the motel room just as his eyes start to burn.

He turns on the television, some show about drugs comes on and he immediately turns it off. He sits staring at the black television screen for a couple minutes then looks at the closed door, it's locked. He turns the television back on and turns the volume down so Dean can't hear it through the thin motel walls.

The shows introduction flickers 'Intervention' then goes into someone's personal story about being addicted to pot then to pills eventually leading to cocaine. Sam takes a deep breath remembering his own intervention , what a bitch that was.

_'Tammy, you need help!'A looking mans says._

Knock. Knock.

_'Just leav'me alooone, I hate'chu!'An erratic girl with makeup running down her face screams._

He hears it again and immediately turns the television off and listens.

He gets up and slowly walks over trying to hear his brother in the other room next to his but can't hear anything. Maybe he did change his mind, he thinks as he opens the door.

"Howdy Sammy, my boy." The quiet hunter, Frank, from the bar says jollily as he saunters past Sam and into the room.

Sam stares at the man who is looking around. "Where's your brother?"

His unloaded gun is on the small table in the little kitchenette, but his knife is in his back pocket… if he can somehow distract the guy.

"Where's yours?"

Frank laughs, "Oh that other guy isn't my brother."

"What is it you want?"

The hunter walks menacingly over to Sam making him move back into the wall with a harsh thud.

"Need, Sam, not want. I've been itching to get my hands on you since you let Lucifer free." His eyes turn black. "I think I owe you a much needed thank you, you see you and your brother let me out a couple years ago and now you top it off with letting our master free. It's so funny how you two try so hard to be good but only end up benefitting us. Are you sure you aren't secretly rooting for the Demon side?"

Sam steps away from the wall and back away from the Demon, "I'm going to kill you."

"Oh _Tammy_, you just need _help_!" The demon smirks and takes another step forward.

"I don't know what you see in me but you get any closer to me and I'm slicing your throat!"

The demon laughs aloud. "With what? Your nail?"

Sam whips out his knife and takes a step back.

"Oh Sam-boy, what a beaut, I almost WANT to get cut now," The demon takes another step forward.

Sam licks his lips unconsciously but catches himself and feels an icy brick drop in his stomach, he relaxes his knife gripping hand.

"You don't realize how much power you hold, sooo," 'Frank' says prolonging the 'o', "Why don't you let me wear you for a couple days, I can show you the true wonders of dark power that you can withstand and then I will let you go. Let me persuade you a bit, yeh?"

The demon is suddenly in front of him and puts his hand on Sam's shoulder while showing Sam his shark like grin, a very faint scar running from the top of the left side of his mouth to his chin.

He feels something prying at his mind, trying to get in.

Sam swipes his knife at the Demons throat, the Demon jumps back with his hand covering his throat.

"Whoa, close one," The Demon starts to walk to the gun on the table, "Too bad I can't kill you for that, but I know some kill-free torture."

He picks up the gun and makes his way back over to Sam who's smiling but his eyes are on the blood trickling down Franks neck.

"Go ahead and kill me, he'll just bring me back."

"Ah, now that's an idea," The Demon pulls the trigger.

_Click._

A look of confusion flashes on his face and he pulls again. _Click Click Click._

Sam takes that moment to tackle him onto the floor. Bang! They both jump at the noise and scramble up to their feet. Oops, he doesn't remember leaving one in there, that's not good.

"You playin Russian roulette Sammy-O?" The tantalizing laugh pretty much radiates the room.

Sam slams his fist down into the Demons face making a cracking noise then brings his knife down to shank the stupid fuck, but is thrown off across the room and into a table. He struggles to get up, debris of broken table beneath him. He hears heavy footsteps and receives a couple kicks to the chest and is then pulled up to his feet and slammed back into the wall, his knife on the floor.

"Gah, You fuckin, ah!" He's slammed harder into the wall, smacking his head against it. "Gonna kill you."

"You know, Azazel had pretty decent plans for you."

Sam digs his nails into flesh.

"But I like Lucifer's plans better." Frank starts to choke him.

"Gnnugh!"

"I knew Ruby too, do you know what they call me Sammy?"

Sam tries to kick the demon backwards, but Frank must have learned some serious martial arts and has him pinned against the wall again, pain shooting up his back.

The demon leans in and whispers in Sam's ear, "They call me; The Grapevine, now open up that precious psychic noggin of yours and _**let.**_ _**Me. In!**_" Franks hands clench harder at his throat.

Terror floods through him, he can't get possessed again, not with his tattoo or can he? But suddenly he feels that pressure again on his mind that rivals the pressure on his throat. He can feel the demon trying to get inside, his psych starts flashing red in his mind that this is wrong.

"No! No!" Sam gasps struggling in the demons arms, his air pipe feeling like it's about to be crushed.

"Hey!" A booming voice comes from the door.

Sam glares into the cruel grey eyes glaring into his, a chill runs down his spine and the pressure is becoming so unbearable he closes his eyes.

"E's p'ssess'd!" He rasps out to his brother, his one last effort.

Dean whips out his forty-five and starts shooting. The man falls to the ground shaking and convulsing before black smoke comes out of the mouth and vanishes out the window. Dean had started to bless the bullets, or Cas technically, he will take the bullets and do his angel mojo on them. He laughs at how wrong that sounds.

Though as Sam looks at the dead guy he feels ready to get sick, he places his hand on the wall and leans over squeezing his eyes shut. He just wants a whole twenty-four hours where something DOESN'T go wrong or where he has to clean up a bloody mess.

"Sam." It wasn't a question. It was just a defeated sound coming from Dean, he can't look up.

A heavy feathery _woosh_ and an unseen pressure falls into the motel room surprising Sam that the walls simply don't crack. His knees buckle and its only luck he doesn't get on his knees.

"Dean. Sam." Castiel.

"You're hurt." Castiel walks up to Sam to cure him but Sam takes a step back.

"I'm good, really…"

Cas frowns and stares at Sam for a couple minutes, the feeling of guilt and shame overpowers Sam's mind but he fights it with everything he has trying not to cry under the Angels firm gaze.

"Where have you been Cas, Jesus Christ, give me some notice before you disappear for two weeks."

Cas turns to Dean. "I'm sorry Dean, I'll make sure to call into work next time."

Sam lets out a nervous laugh and looks over at Dean who has a spark of amusement for the first time in ages in his eyes. And then Sam realizes that Castiel is Dean's savior, even if Dean will forever be too stoic to admit it.

Sam's little flash of happiness is gone just as fast as it came because he shouldn't feel replaced by an Angel. Castiel shouldn't be here cracking jokes and making Dean laugh, no, that's Sam's job. So how come… how come he…

Sam thinks to all he's done to his brother; the sneaking out, the lies, being a big dick. He didn't know that Dean was ever going to come back and somewhere along the way he turned into something ugly. Suddenly he's not so smart and he's attached to demons by the crooked hooks.

"I uh… gonna…" Sam clears his throat. "Wash up."

Sam's already halfway into the bathroom when Dean pulls him back by the arm.

Cas is gone. He doesn't know how he knows but he's guessing that since the pressure is gone, so is Cas.

"Why didn't you let Cas help you? Why are you creating more work for yourself?" Dean shakes his head, "And you should try and respect him, he is an Angel."

Sam avoids Dean's gaze so he wouldn't see the shock; Dean telling _him_ to respect an angel? Sam wonders what changed to make him suddenly change his mind from his usual 'Angels are like shady politicians' attitude.

Taking a sigh and moving away he folds his arms. "Since when are you buddy-buddy with Cas?"

Dean stares then rolls his eyes. "Are you really jealous? Jesus H. Christ, Sam." Dean laughs at Sam. "Get over it, okay?"

Sam shakes his head, he isn't jealous but doesn't expect Dean to believe him.

"Listen, we'll talk about this later because right now we are both tired and I still have to call Roy about this guy."

Sam nods. "I'll go burn the body."

Dean agrees and heads to his room and comes back with the keys.

"Go to Bobby's and burn him there, I'll stay here to do the hunt with Roy."

Sam wants to protest but takes another look at Dean and decides not to. So- no eye contact. Take keys. Grab bags. Put body in trunk. Run hand through hair. He briefly looks at his brother before getting into the Impala and taking off.

_Sam lays down on the cold hard ground where they buried Dean and put a wooden cross, he takes a deep breath and starts to sob into the ground._

Sam looks out of the rearview mirror and watches as Dean walks into his motel room when a flash of agony has him stopping the Impala and placing it in park at the stop sign.

_"I know you feel alone, Sam but…I'm here boy. I think of you as my son. Dean may be gone but he wouldn't want you killin yourself."_

He runs back to the motel and raps his fist against Dean's motel room door.

_Holding Deans shredded blood soaked body against his own for what feels like hours, not even shedding a tear, just holding him thinking maybe, just maybe he will wake up. Isn't it Tuesday?_

Dean opens his door looking frantic. "What?"

Sam embraces him into a hug leaving Dean frozen for a minute before he holds back.

"Sam?"

Sam blinks hard then lets go. "Just, uh," He rubs his sweaty hands on his pants. "Be careful, you need backup, I know you won't but, in case you do. Just." He clears his throat. "Call. And don't get hurt."

Dean stares at him with a weird expression so he quickly starts to the Impala then turns around when he hears Dean call out to him.

"You be careful too."

He nods and a small sad smile.

Xxxx

Sliding back into the Impala and taking off toward Bobby's Sam remembers all too clearly how it was after Dean died and comes close to turning around back to the cheap motel he just came from.

But he can't turn around and he can't stop his stupid mind from thinking.

_It's a month after Dean died, slowly but surely the inevitable started to happen. He started to forget what it felt like for Dean to hug him. The way Dean would moan after biting into a ham and cheese sandwich like no other. His eyes. Just what color were his brothers eyes? When it gets overbearing he does a multiple of things but lately it has been an increasing habit to just drink. And drink. Sleep. Hunt. Drink. Drive. Fist Deans shirt in his hand then take a big inhale of the left over scent but even that was starting to fade and that is too much to bare. _

_At first when he started hunting again he would go in half cocked all the while still thinking Dean would come out of nowhere and just have his back. If a ghoul threw him into a wall or a vampire would appear behind him and chomp down he would think: That's alright, he will save me. But pretty quickly the shock wore off and as the ghoul continued to toss him around or the vampire continued to suck his blood he realized: He's gone._

_Of course that's when Bobby would show up, shoot the ghoul, slice the vamps dang head off and both times Sam would go back home with Bobby, drink all that's in his cabinets, crash, go pick up the Impala, then would take off never speaking of it again._

_It's when the shock and pain start to wear off, all it leaving in his heart but a numbness that's never ending. There's nothing to stop him from feeling this way because as much as forgetting hurts, and hurts more than remembering, it helps him focus on the hunt and to survive._

_He tries to take in Deans musky scent from his Led Zepplin shirt but can't. The scent is gone. The stupid Jack Daniels is gone. He has no more cigarettes. He's bleeding all over Bobbies stupid uncomfortable couch and the man is nowhere in sight. And then there was Ruby, a whole 'nother subject all on it's own._

Whass'at?

He takes a deep breath opening his eyes and looking around.

He doesn't know how it happened but falling asleep at the wheel isn't something he's been known to do. Luckily while the car started to drift he hit a pothole which woke him up to the dark long road with nothing but his headlights to show the way.

His phone rings and he answers, "Hello?"

_**"Where are you Sam? Dean told me you left three hours ago."**_

Three hours?

"No that's impossible, I'm still… I mean I'm taking the backroad so. I could have sworn I knew how to get back." He shoulders the phone while holding the map. "Yeah Bobby, I don't know why I'm not at your house yet."

How long was he sleeping, wouldn't he have crashed?

_**"Well geesh ya idjit, call next time you start running late."**_

"Ya, okay… thanks Bobby."

_**"Should I call Dean or you wanna face the fire, kid?"**_

Sam licks his lips suddenly getting chilly, wait, that's impossible but soon poofs of breath come from his mouth in front of him. He pulls the car over and looks in his rear view mirror to see the ghost of Frank.

Shit! He quickly jumps out of the Impala but is thrown into the air and lands hard on the pavement.

"Oof!"

He's getting too old for this, he thinks as he gets up and runs to the trunk and opens it up immediately taking out his saw'd off and firing at the ghost making it dissipate in a shuttering flash, but he knows it's not gone.

_**"Sam?"**_

Sam looks over at his phone, Bobby is yelling his name when he brings it to his face.

"I gotta go Bobby, nature calls."

_"**Too much info-"**_ Sam hangs up on Bobby and gets the body out of the car. The salt and burn will have to be done in the field he's next too. Apparently the spirit is restless enough that it can't hold onto it's grudge for an hour trip to Bobby's house.

Xxxx

He sighs and calls Dean, the boy no matter what is still a mother hen, raising a child can do that to a person. Not that he knew from experience but from the way Dean acts towards Sammy he's seen with his own father and himself. But Bobby smiles, those boys are like sons and he can't help how proud he is to have the chance to have that relationship.

"Hey, Dean? I think your brother is in trouble." Bobby takes a sip of whiskey. "Oh Dean, you don't have to tell me that. The damn kid belongs in a cushioned room with Demon traps covering every inch. Yep, bye."

Xxxx

Dean snaps his phone shut and resists the urge to throw it.

"Is everything alright Dean?"

Dean's jaw twitches at the nickname he got from the guy way back.

"Brothers in trouble again Roy… Sorry. Again. I owe you a thirty pack and a nice piece of ass or something."

Roy smiles and shakes his head, "Boy, that sounds way better than a hunt." He laughs and claps Dean on the shoulder. "Sam… I remember when he was young, even then he had trouble tailin him, I'll never forget your father bragging about how you saved Sammy from a bloodsucker back when you were sixteen. You remember?"

Dean nods and smiles, Dad bragging about _him_? That's a new one.

"You do what you have to son, just keep safe and if you need help. Just give a shout, ya hear?"

"Yes sir." Dean nods, "And thanks Roy, I am sorry."

"Surprised you have no grays yet. I'll take you up on that beer and ass so don't go getting hurt."

Dean starts walking off when he makes the startling realization that he doesn't have the Impala, he turns around and looks at the parking lot and spots a nice ford. That will have to do.

He heads for the backroad to Bobby's house, after getting off the phone with Bobby he's been getting bad vibes. He should have just burned the damn hunters body somewhere local. But his main thought was to hopefully get Sam to stay at Bobby's for a week while he went hunting with Roy and Woody… just to get away and reminisce about the old days when it wasn't so complicated. Now he realizes that THAT was just a foolish idea… as always, he sighs and gives Sam a call.

_"**H-hello?"**_ Sam says but his voice is muffled through static.

"Sam! Can you hear me, what's up?"

_"**Franks ghost is pissed and decided to throw me in a ti **_[static]_** op or something. I've been drivi**_[static]_**… Bobbys **_[static]_**….now."**_

Dean scowls, "He threw you in what? I can't hear you you're breaking up!"

_"**Time loop! Shit, I'm **_[static]_** backroad same as we took last time." **_

Sam hung up and but then about twenty minutes later his phone rings again.

It's Sam.

_"**Hey Dean,"**_ His voice is weak from what Dean can tell and it hurts just to listen to his brother. _**"I got him, salt and burn the whole shebang you don't have to come down."**_

Dean squints, and denies the fact he needs glasses yet, "Well Sam I'm already here so we should… I'm actually getting a glimpse of the tail lights just get in the passenger seat. I'll be right there." He hangs up.

When he finally makes it to Sam he gives his brother a pat on the back while glancing at the smoldering flames off on the side of the road in the field.

"So he decided to haunt you? Well doesn't that figure, even in death that man hated you, maybe if you ordered the jackass a Guinness instead of a Coors." Dean cracks a smile looking his brother over.

Sam scoffs, "I would have if he wasn't a dick. What did he call me? A puppy? Eh…seriously I think it was the demon the whole time."

"Don't know bout that Sammy," Dean leans against the Impala. "Even Woody and Roy were fooled, and so was his own brother! Maybe he wasn't possessed until later."

Sam shrugs and sniffs feeling a cold coming on, the weather starting to become brisk toward the end of the day more and more.

Dean bites his bottom lip and opens the trunk and pulls out two beers from the cooler inside. "We're running low, only four more of these babies." He says as he takes a pull from the Corona. Why Sam got Corona beats him.

"Dean, you can still go back and help Roy… I'll go stay at a local motel."

Dean doesn't look over instead he looks away, "Why not stay at Bobby's, it's free of charge and he makes breakfast!"

Sam rolls his eyes, greasy dinner left-overs from the night before hardly count as a healthy breakfast.

"Because Dean," Sam says mildly, "You know why."

"No I don't, what, you think he's mad at you? Well he's not. And,"

"I'm not staying at Bobby's Dean!" Sam interrupts.

"Yes you are Sam and that's final, I'd rather you stay at Bobby's than be alone at a cheap motel when he is only twenty minutes away."

"Fine."

Dean looks shocked and narrows his eyes. "Fine?"

"Yeah," Sam sighs. "I've been making so many wrong choices lately that," He chokes up, he can't continue but his mind finishes it for him with a simple fact. He can't be trusted.

But Dean can.

"So, uh, what happened here anyhow?" Dean asks and takes out another beer throwing his empty into the fire.

"Oh, Frank just couldn't rest with the way he died so… he led me to believe for the past three hours that I was on my way to Bobby's when really I just kept driving and driving. I didn't even notice until Bobby called. Damn spirit was already a grade A poltergeist… or trickster."

He grimaces then remembering the six months without Dean because of the trickster.

"Jesus, you alright? I mean three hours that's a long time… you have a concussion?"

He frowns. "I didn't hit my head." He didn't think so.

Dean sniffs and lets out a groan, "When you get to Bobby's do me a favor and clean my baby, she smells like dead man's blood." He lets out a chuckle, "Hey that must mean the Impala is vamp proof."

Sam smiles, "Yeah. Hey you remember when you saved me from that gnarly vamp, in… what was it? Michigan? Or maybe Ohio? Man that was badass you took her out so fast even Dad couldn't believe it. I think it was your first vamp."

Dean looks over, "Yeah, yeah I remember. Haha that stupid bitch thought she had one on us because we were young and ripe for the picking but then, wa-cha!" Dean sounds out the motion, "I have her down with that 8 inch knife that dad gave me… that was the only downer. I lost that blade soon after… man…"

Dean shakes his head over the loss and wonders why Sam would bring this up. It's ironic.

"And I think it was Michigan because of the pretty weird girl I was dating there, remember? She had a streak of blue hair, the only girl in the whole town that wasn't some crazy Christian and would get down with me? You met her… I think. Man, she had the perfect tits."

"Dude… I don't remember all the chicks you screwed around with!" Sam laughs, "I was too busy being locked up in the nest being molested by that mother hen vamp. You see, I was ripe for the picking." He bites out while picking at a thread on the cuff of his sleeve.

"Molested is a harsh word… you said she didn't do anything."

Sam freezes then grabs another drink. "Well I mean it's not like she raped me Dean." He takes a gulp and suddenly feels awkward, forgotten past memories start to leak into his brain.

Dean stops, "You know now that I think of it I don't remember you telling us what happened?"

"Well I did,"

"No, because Dad was shocked that you weren't crying about it."

"Maybe because I was fifteen Dean, and fifteen year olds don't cry to their Marine Corp drill Sergeant dads that they were scared over a little time with a vampire."

"It'd been only normal."

"Oh and that always worked out just great Dean, me wanting to be normal is the reason we're all in this mess to begin with!"

"That's not true Sammy and you know it."

A dead silence falls between them and Sam chucks the nearly empty bottle of beer into the field.

"Well, good luck with the hunt Dean."

"Yeah, and you get to Bobby's safely alright?"

Sam hands over the Impala keys to Dean who reluctantly takes it, "Are you sure Sam?"

"It's yours and it has all the artillery in there. Besides I'm going to Bobbies, remember?"

Dean stares, "I think this is just your way of getting out of cleaning the Impala."

Sam laughs putting his hands up, "You got me." Then he gets serious and half hugs his brother, "Be careful and call if you need me."

Dean smiles back and nods.

"Yeah yeah, we all know you're the one who will end up calling me Sammy."

Deans in the Impala and shutters at what he just said, "God Sammy you better not get in trouble."

He drives off in the other direction toward Roy while looking in his rear view mirror watching Sam fade into the dark night behind him.

Xxxx

"Jesus boy how many times am I gonna see you in a span of twenty-four hours? And gosh darn it you do realize it is four o'clock in the mornin! Ain't you sleep yet?" Roy says between his front door in only his boxers, his big hairy beer gut is just enough for Dean to think about cutting back on the booze.

"I'm sorry, I'm uh… I wasn't thinking… I'll just uh… I'll call you later. Say around…." Dean stutters off, honestly he hasn't been looking at the clock he was just doing his thing. "Yeah, I'm just, I'm gonna go."

Roy nods, "Good idea." He shuts the door.

It took a couple of minutes but Dean found a motel nearby and decided it was about time to crash.

_"Dean, DEAN!" He's being shaken awake._

_"Dad?"_

_"The fuckin bitch took him, Dean! We have to go, now! We might not make it and if we don't…"_

_John is grabbing bags of their weapons and throwing it carelessly into the Impala. Dean is right on his tail gathering things and loading up weapons._

_"What's going on, dad? Where's Sammy?"_

_"Haven't you been listening Dean? The bloodsucking bitch took Sam, I have a clue as to where she is but it could already be too late. She's the one who's been taking random children from the school down the street remember?"_

_Dean rubs his head trying to shake away the fuzz, yesterday he was knocked off his block smashing his head into a brick wall. Desperately thinking of the fine details of their latest hunt he smears dead mans blood on the 8 inch blade his father recently gave him._

_He swallows the bile in his throat._

_"How did she get Sammy? How long has he been gone, dad?"_

_John is driving like a crazed lunatic on crack, speeding through red lights and swerving past cars._

_"I dozed off on the couch, I," His dad hardly ever choked up. Dean looks out the window trying not to cry, his whole body feels like it's shaking with fear and anger. "I knew I should've picked him up from school, that damn kid."_

_"You couldn't have known dad."_

_"It's got to be about an hour, maybe two and who knows." John stops himself and looks over at his son. _

_"Listen to me, we go in there and we take her apart. Don't forget the training I taught you Dean, vampires are sneaky and quick to strike for the neck. I believe she is working alone but that means nothing, if I get her you still stay on guard."_

_Dean nods. "Yes sir."_

_"You go in there and you are to find Sammy and get out. That's your mission son. No matter what happens. Get Sam and get out, understood?" John's voice wavers just a bit and suddenly stops on a side street near an abandoned building._

_"I understand dad."_

_John and Dean quietly get out of the Impala and scale their way up the building using the old outdoor fire ladders. Dean wonders how his father can possibly know that the vamp is in the building but decides not to question it. He looks into every window trying to find his brother, but is let down every time._

_John holds up his hand indicating Dean to stop and they hide before a window. John quickly looks in then looks away turning toward Dean._

_"Okay, I don't see her but Sammy is in there. You're going to break into the next window across from this one and go after Sammy." Dean starts to go but John holds him. "Dean," John clears his throat. "Son, Sammy might have turned… if he has we kill the vamp and we knock Sam out and figure out what to do later. Understand, Dean?"_

_Dean nods. Get Sammy and run. Easy. It's do-able. _

_"Alright then, go and wait for my signal."_

_Dean quickly runs past the first window then stops before the second, looking behind him to see his father's hand raised then flash down. That's the signal, he crashes through the window landing into a wide studio room. The shatter of the window should have alerted the vamp by now, his father crashed through the other window same as him and is now looking around with precaution._

_Then there is Sam tied to a chair in the far end of the room, a gag is strapped to his mouth and his hair disheveled. Blood stains on his arms and torn t-shirt, his blue jacket is missing along with his socks and shoes. That's weird._

_Dean looks around for any sign of the bitch then makes a run for his little brother. He pats Sam's face trying to get him awake, fearing the worst he checks for a pulse which is there but faint. He unstraps the gag and tosses it to the side, his hands trembling with a quiet rage he hasn't felt since… well since the last time Sam got himself kidnapped. They really need to put this kid on a damn leash._

_"Sammy," He whispers and smacks him again. "Come on man."_

_Sam opens his eyes and gasps, "Look out!"_

_Dean immediately turns around and blocks the knife coming at his throat and throws a punch at the beast attacking vampire's long black hair is covering what probably used to be a beautiful face, her mouth bites at him._

_"MINE! DON'T TOUCH WHAT'S MINE!" Her voice is hoarse._

_He hears his fathers heavy footsteps thud and echo throughout the studio, the sound of Sam's heavy breathing and the vampires shrill yelling._

_Like slow motion he takes out the blade from behind him and just as the vampire goes to bite his neck he swipes the blade horizontally with a majestic downward motion of his wrist that was so ingrained into him by the rigorous workouts at the crack of dawn that it was almost as easy as spreading butter on a piece of bread._

_The head thuds to the floor, the body following a second later._

_His father's running dramatically slows down as he stares down at the dead bloodsucker then up to Dean and for a moment he watches a couple years shed from his father's face but then it comes back twice as much as he looks over at Sammy who's struggling to get up from the chair._

_"Dude, you got to teach me that." Sam says smiling wearily looking from Dean to their father._

_"You boys are gonna give me a heart attack," John says breathing heavy._

Dean wakes up and looks around, then at his watch, it's going on 5 in the evening. Damn how long was he asleep, well at least now Roy can't complain about him calling to early.

Xxxx

Bobby watches Sam hunched over the porch rail looking over then sighs. The kid is so depressing, even when he doesn't mean to be which makes it even more depressing.

"Hey, Bobby?"

Bobby joins him outside with two cups of coffee, a muscle relaxer in the red mug-the one he hands to Sam. His heart aches a dull throb as he remembers his wife using the same ugly brown mug in his hand. She called it her hand warmer; because it was so big she could fit both hands around it, warming them up.

Sam takes a gulp before asking, "What is that?"

Bobby snaps out of it and looks over the railing and almost drops the mug.

"We gotta get inside! NOW!"

Xxxxx

Woody, Roy and Dean all met up at the front gate of the haunted Mansion of Riley Young. He did some research on Riley and with the help of Wood and Roy it came down to a man who went beserk on his family after a long day of work, killed his two children, ages between 6 and 12 in their sleep and decapitated his wife and then lastly shot himself in the face with an old U.S firearm dating back to the 30's.

The ghost or whatever it is-is vindictive and brutal. Ruling out the children, but then again you never know. But as far as Dean figures, it could be the mother, upset and furious with what happened to her, the father who can't move on from what happened or- taking a long shot- could be the grandfather who previously owned the gun used by his son to kill his children then himself.

"So this is the creepy and dank mansion that has this…watchamacallit?"

"Ghos?"

"Poltergeist?"

Dean rolls his eyes.

"Where is what's his name anyway?"

"Oh you mean Frank's brother, Domas?"

"Domas?"

"He means, Thomas."

Dean stares. Of course. He wants to roll his eyes so bad, but holds it in. Woody, my man, you have two front teeth- USE THEM! He sighs.

"He's still searchin for Frank, thinks someone kidnapped'em or somethin. It aint like'em ta go off on his own without tellin Thomas. They are like two pees in a pod like you and Sam; gotta be tough, not knowin where your brother is." Roy shakes his head and lights up a cigarette.

Dean focuses on his weapons and goes over the plan in his head. "Yeah,"

He says absent mindedly not giving a rats ass about Frank and his brother 'Domas' he just wants to help Roy and get the hell out of dodge.

"You men all set and ready for this hunt? Cause I'm telling you, I don't want to go in there if any of you are feeling cold feet. You already lost one guy and that was with the five of you, now be honest with me, can we handle this good and proper?" He looks between Woody and Roy.

The look on their faces makes his stomach drop and right away he knows this whole thing should just be left alone. No one is dying and the only ones who do are the intruders and really dumb rebel teens who think it would be fun to check out the mansion… but he's starting to get the feeling that maybe this is a bad idea, and not because of the look of insecurity that's passing between Wood and Roy but because the tall white mansion with dark windows and daunting looking curtains with black window panels are giving him the red flag vibe to 'stay away'.

It might not even be the family, this could be an Amityville horror deal and he's had just about enough of Hell.

His phones ringing, it's Bobby, thank the lord, hallelujah, praise Jesus, where's Cas? He wants to hug him.

_**"We have an emergency, Dean!"**_

Nevermind, forget what he said, bring on the white house, no more Sam problems, anything but _that_!

"Really… Sam?"

_**"Not that kind. We have an Adficio pod on the side of the house and who knows what that things gonna bust! There's only one way to get rid of-"**_

"Bobby hold up, a what? I have no idea what you're saying!"

_**"An Adficio pod, your daddy and I killed one in '91, damn things are pod people, grow in pods and leach off the emotions to whatever they are attached too and right now that's my house and who knows what the hell that thing is getting from Sam and me."**_

Dean rubs a hand through his hair, Woody and Roy are giving him that knowing look and he mouths 'I'm sorry' to them while running to his car. He puts Bobby on hold for a moment and shouts to them.

"Don't go in there with just the two of you; seriously, that house has something evil in it Roy. I'd get a whole troop of hunters for this one."

Roy sighs heavily but nods.

"And to kill one?"

_**"With silver."**_

"And is there a reason why you can't kill this pod thing?"

_**"Once it feeds off your emotions it's immune to anything you try to kill it with including silver, which makes it almost invincible to anything it preys on. I've only seen these things in Florida down near the swamps, they can feed off of anything and usually feeds off of plants and small critters… deer."**_

"Bobby, what do you need me to do?"

_**"Just shoot it, with all silver… but from afar. If it senses you it will feeds off us even faster then it's game over. And we'll have to call Rufus who is in Kentucky at the moment. These things can get dangerous and procreate like potatoes, only you don't know they procreated until one pops up, that's why you need to hurry and kill this one before that happens."**_

"Where's Sam?"

_**"He's… well you know how I told you they feed on emotions?"**_

Oh God. Dean sighs and concentrates on the road pressing his foot on the gas a little harder.

Taking the silence as a means to continue, _**"Well he's sleeping, which is why I need you to hurry because I'm getting tired too. Once you're asleep they start to really feed off of you and eventually you die until they suck ya dry. Sam's been asleep soon after I called you. Just make sure you hit the thing with the first shot."**_

"Well then wake him up and get the hell out of there."

_"**Not a good idea, I don't want the chance of this thing following us; it may reproduce while it does, but I'm not sure I have to look into it. And Dean… whatever me and Sam may say even after you kill this Adficio is just after effects so don't take it personal or think any less of me… us…. **_Sam_**. Okay?"**_

"Right Bobby. I'm about thirty minutes away so just hang tight and try and wake Sammy for me, okay?"

_**"Kay."**_

Xxxx

_Sam stumbles onto the sidewalk and into a building using it to guide his topsy turvey self to a motel or a place to sleep. He stops and without any warning he heaves chunks onto the ground then spits the remaining taste left in his mouth. He takes a deep breath and continues walking while half hazardly stepping over his vomit. _

_"Hey stranger,"_

_He stops and closes his eyes, he's trying to stand straight but his mind is too fuzzy to give a crap._

_"Ruby, annoying bitch. Whadya want?"_

_"To help, what else?"_

_He continues to walk while she continues to follow, and that was that. Nothing happened that night and no more conversations between them were said._

XXXxxx

With the radio blasting through the stereo and his window down he kept full speed, taking a quick look behind him he tenses. Someone in an old ford is creeping up his tail gate.

"Son of a bitch." He honks the horn and waves giving the guy 'okay' to go around him.

The guy stays on his ass even when Dean speeds up, is this guy kidding? He applies less pressure on the gas to slow down hoping it will give the guy a hint. The ford slows down away from the Impala then speeds by, crossing the yellow dotted lane.

Dean gets a quick glimpse, but can't make out the face because of the hat.

The guy slows down then abruptly stops.

"Fuck!" Dean swerves to avoid hitting the rusted bucket in front of him. Once at a stop he picks up his loaded piece and slams out of the car.

"What the fuck d'you think you're doing?"

Tom gets out.

Shit.

Xxxx

_"You're getting sloppy, look at you, you are pathetic!" Ruby finally loses her cool one Friday night when she finds Sam sprawled out on the floor with a black eye, a bloody lip and a bottle of cheap liquor in his hand._

_"Lea'me alone." He takes a swig the alcohol dripping down the side of his face. _

_Ruby stomps over to him and lifts him up into a sitting position._

_"If Dean were here he would,"_

_Whatever mental blockade Sam put himself in he was out of it now as he takes Ruby by the back of her head and pulls her head painfully back threatening to break the vessels precious neck._

_"Stop mentioning him," He starts then tosses her away from him and stands up on wobbly feet making his way into the bathroom and slamming the door shut. Ruby gets up and stares at the door listening for any clues as to what he's doing. It's just silence and so she leaves._

Xxxxxx

Dean opens his eyes with a smashing headache, his arms bound behind him.

"How did you manage to tie me up, I mean, knock me out?"

The rugged older man remains quiet and stares.

"Are you gonna kill me?" Dean asks, if he's honest he is only a little worried. Cas could always bring him back or something. Speaking of which, he scoffs wondering why he hasn't done this already.

"Cas? If you can hear me please help me out. "

Tom looks skeptical and sighs taking out a long serrated knife and leans forward, "I'm just-a-bout ready to cut your tongue out." He whispers.

"Cas! Get your lazy ass down here and help me," Dean shouts out struggling against the rope holding him to the chair.

Tom only manages a punch to Dean's face before he's thrown back into a table. Cas looks over at Dean and unbinds the rope with a twist of his fingers.

"You're lack of respect irritates me, Dean."

Dean lets out a weak bloody smile and stands up, "You know I love ya,"

Cas rolls his eyes and goes to transport them.

"Wait!" Dean walks over to Tom who is unconscious on the floor and takes out his gun. He really didn't want to do this but with the way his luck is going he can't risk anything. BANG!

"And Cas, I'm taking my car."

Cas nods then stops bending over the bleeding body, Dean looks over him. "What's up?"

"This is a Demon," Cas turns to Dean whose eyes are wide, "You didn't know?"

Dean shakes his head, but that would explain how 'Thomas' got the jump on him.

Cas puts two fingers to the guys forehead and a bright light illuminates the room.

Xxxx

_Sam throws her against the wall and holds her there fighting_  
><em>against his wild emotions that have been running rampant since Dean showed up at his front door.<em>

_"Were done Ruby,"_

_"Why? Because Dean wouldn't approve? Don't forget Sammy, I know you, I know what you like." She licks his neck and she thrusts her hips into his._

_"And don't you forget that I'm only using you!" He growls and lets her go walking over to the table and gathers jacket and gun._

_Ruby stares at him as he walks out of the motel room._

_Ooo_

_"Please Ruby, I'm all out, I need it Ruby." Sam's voice involuntarily shakes and he tries to get a hold of himself. He grips the phone tighter and looks around hoping Dean is still in bed._

_"Call me back, I don't know what to do Ruby."_

_He wipes his face with his hand and is ready to get back to the motel when a car pulls up beside him._

_"Get in, babe."_

_Sam bites his lip, he wants to retort but all he can think of is her blood. He hops in and stares her down._

_"What took you so long?"_

_"Geesh Sam, you called me two seconds ago I think I made good timing."_

_"No, I mean, where have you been? It's been a week and… I don't know Ruby this is wrong, why do I feel like shit?" Sam hunches over feeling his body shake and his forehead break out in sweat._

_"It just means you're getting stronger Sammy." She puts her cold hand against hand._

_Ruby pulls into a discrete alleyway and throws the car in park. Sam doesn't waste any time before he is pushing up her sleeve and using his own pocket knife to cut a fine line into her wrist. He feels himself calm down with every swallow and stops when he feels Ruby push away._

_"Enough, you don't want to go crazy."_

_He licks his lips satisfied and lets out a breath of relief, Ruby chuckles and hops into his lap and starts grinding against him. _

_"Ruby, no…" Sam moans out, his hip thrusting when Ruby's fingers grasp what they are looking for._

_She bites his lip and then lets go, pumping him softly despite his continuous plea for her to stop, but she knows he doesn't mean it. He pulls her face to his and shoves his tongue into her mouth fighting for dominance as she starts to drive him faster and wilder. _

_Then he shudders and moans as he is pushed over his limit. _

_She gets off of him and gets back into the drivers seat then pulls out a couple napkins and hands them over. He takes them and looks out the window._

_"Deans gonna wonder where I am."_

_"We'll stop by the Donut Shop and get him some goodies."_

_He nods and shivers as she slides her hand through his hair._

Xxxx

Bobby yawns and looks over at Sam who is curled asleep on his couch mumbling Ruby's name left and right. He probably would have risked leaving the house with Sam if the kid wasn't doped on the medicine he spiked him with. Damnit, he couldn't tell Dean that though. And the Lord knows he is not risking his back to carry out a two hundred pound something man.

"This is not good."

He sits down and takes another sip of coffee but soon finds himself drifting to sleep as well.

Xxxx

"So what is it Bobby needs to kill?" Cas asks from the passenger seat.

Apparently the angel has nothing else to do than sit shotgun as they head to Bobby's.

"Some Afidio thing, it's a pod and I kill it by shooting it."

He turns the radio up.

Cas turns it off.

Dean snaps it back on.

"Dean."

"No Cas."

_-Let him soothe your soul, just take his hand, Dr. Feelgood, some people call him an evil man-_

Cas glares at Dean and turns it off.

"Okay, you know what," Dean pulls over and looks over at Cas. "I feel like I'm with Sam right now, what the fuck is your problem?"

Cas grabs Dean by his collar and pulls him so they are face to face. "You will not talk to me like the _vermin_ that you exterminate on a daily basis, human. I've been putting up with your idiocy long enough and despite what you and your pathetic bunch think of me, I am not some dog you can sic on every troubling problem you come across without at least a proper acknowledgement."

Dean lets out a groan of frustration and yanks himself from Castiel's holding fist.

"Leave. I don't have time to deal with your petty emotions that you are struggling to control. If you haven't notice Castiel, Angel of a missing God, I have enough," Dean doesn't have time to dodge the fist that clocks him in the mouth.

"You make time for the Angel of your Lord-the Angel that continues to haul your ass out of your measly problems. And my emotions, which I am struggling with, are only a problem because you make it one. All I'm asking from you Dean is to talk to me with respect. I am your Angel, but I won't hesitate to smite you then bring you back if that is what it takes for you to treat me like one."

Dean sighs and rubs his jaw, his glare softened when Cas is finishes his rant.

"You're right."

Dean pulls back onto the road and starts going as fast as the old model will allow.

They finally pull up near Bobby's house, they are several yards away but it's as far as he can go. Any farther and his confidence in his aim will falter. He doesn't snipe often and has enough practice but this is the farthest he has sniped in a long time. He'll have to train some more after this is over.

Cas crouches next to him after he sets up the sniper rifle against a log, he looks through and spots the pod near the porch, damn thing is fugly.

"Can you kill it from this far?"

Dean hesitates with his finger on the trigger.

"Cas, with all due respect, shut the fuck up for ten minutes. Okay?"

Click. Lock off. Mark spotted. Aim.

Dean looks through the sniper scope and then goes into the duffle taking out the silencer and attaching it to the sniper rifle. He sets the aim again. The pod unmoving.

He lets out a silent sigh and fires.

Xxxx

Sam jolts up, he could have sworn he heard a gun go off.

"Bobby?"

"Bobby!"

He gets to his feet but as soon as he does his legs give out and his body drops to the floor, his head light and dizzy. He looks up and finds Dean staring down at him who then a second later hoists him off the floor and back onto the couch.

"Dean, what's going on?"

"The usual."

Sam makes a face but then they hear Bobby shouting out.

"Hunny? I'm sorry don't, please, no!"

Bobby's anguished and disturbed voice has Dean running off while Sam tries to push off the couch, his legs are too shaky so he decides to take the gun off the end table and unlock the safety.

Dean runs off and Sam tries to get up but can't.

"Calm down Bobby, it's over." He hears Dean from the other room.

There's an agonizing heart wrenching guttural cry.

Castiel takes away the gun then lifts him onto the couch, the Angel's touch slightly burns him and so he hisses and lashes out.

"Get away fr'm me!" He feels his face grow hot, why is it so hot?

Hands feel his face but the light blinds him from seeing who it is.

"Stop, stop, sto," He can't finish, he doesn't even know what he's saying but saying it helps him focus. He feels like his stomach is crawling up his throat.

_"Sam, you're so perfect, I love you."_

_"Don't. Don't you say those words to me, you mean nothing to me Ruby." _

He feels like something is pushing him physically down on the floor and he catches Castiel's face close to his. Sam tries to lift his numb thousand pound hand to push the Angel away.

"G-go away." He shudders.

He hears heavy footsteps and another scream from Bobby. What's going on?

"Cas, ma-" Now his ears are ringing. "ould go," Is that Dean? "help Bobby,"

Dean!

_"Your brother is dead, Sammy, dead! And all this drinking and crying isn't going to bring him back you moron!" Ruby's yell pierces straight through him._

_Now he never had a mother to tell him otherwise, and his father wasn't there to teach him the basic rules about women but he knew that slapping Ruby's face sending her toppling to the floor shouldn't have felt so good. _

_He bends down and grabs the Demon by the neck and lifts her to his face._

_"When I'm done with you I'm going to enjoy killing you, nice and slow." He drops her with a thud and goes back to his bottle of scotch. _

He's on the floor now sobbing with his head down and his hair covering and sticking to his face from the tears. He knows he's rambling and hears someone sit down next to him.

"I don't know how I went so wrong! I thought for sure and… I want Dean back, please God, I want my brother back. He can't be dead! " His hands are shaking and he looks up at the man holding him, who isn't staring at him with disappointment or anger, no, he's staring at him with pity. He takes several deep breaths.

_"Dead, Sammy, dead!"_

"HE'S NOT DEAD, RUBY!" He doesn't know who he's screaming at, where is he? Why does everything hurt so much? "He, he," Sam hiccups, "He can't be, no, no, NO!" He yells as hard as he can until his voice breaks into a rough whisper.

_Sam absent mindedly cleans Dean's large hollow gashes that show his chest cavity. He takes out a clean shirt, it's one Dean wore often. He sits Dean up and struggles putting on the shirt, but it's okay because soon Dean will be back and he can put this shirt on himself._

"Don't! Dean, no, this can't be real…" Sam struggles getting to his feet and stumbles over to the other side of the wall looking down where the man is watching him from his spot on the floor.

"Shh, Sammy, I'm here." The man with the familiar deep voice gets up and walks over to Sam who is shaking uncontrollably while his eyes dart wildly around the room not seeing anything.

_"I need you," He shutters and takes a long hard suck for the bitter power._

_"Sam, that's enough babe, you got to take it slow."_

_"No, please, I want," Sam holds her down tighter, "please, it wears off so quick."_

"I need it Ruby, please, I," He stops when his brain registers what he's saying. He's laying on the floor with his head in Dean's lap. Dean is petting his head, whispering soft soothing words that he can't really make out.

He hears Bobby's scream off in another room and a loud crash, he feels Dean flinch. After he blinks away his tears, his eyes still blurry but can see Dean looking down at him.

Taking a deep breath, "I'm not a junkie so don't look at me like I am," He whimpers.

"Let it out, brother," Dean's voice cracks and sounds garbled.

Sam chokes back a sob but finds it hard to do, tears running down his face anyway and his teeth clattering. It's like his mind is snapping. He can't see and it's not because of the tears but because his mind is racing again, he sits up.

He looks into Dean's hazel eyes. Hazel.

"You were dead, Dean, you can't be dead." He cries and starts rocking himself and feels Dean's warmth cradle him as he keeps repeating this mantra. "Don't be dead. Don't be dead. God. Please don't be dead."

Xxxx

Sam wakes up, his head pounding and unlike usual days after a chick-flick moment Dean is sitting at the edge of the bed waiting for Sam to wake up.

Dean watches Sam carefully.

"We need to talk Sammy."

XXXX

AN: Thank you for reading, I always appreciate it! And please let me know what you think, even if you hated it.


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